Here's a great comment thread I found today, and it got me to thinking, this would make a great topic to have fun with, so enjoy.

"A very loud, unattractive, mean, nasty woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter. 'I just couldn't believe someone would sleep with you twice. 'Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart'."

It would be funny if it wasn't true

Sounds like the average customer at my work...

(No, I don't work at Wal*Mart)

Good one BWC.

A mans wife returned from shoe shopping....putting the bags she bought down, she went upstairs to her husband. She stormed in mad and frowning....the husband asked her what was wrong?.....She told her husband she wanted him to go down to the shoe store and whip the salesman's ASS. WHY?? he asked...well, she said, You know i don't like to wear panties...so while i was trying on the shoes, he was looking up my skirt....then he told me he would EAT THAT THING FULL OF ICE CREAM.....SHOCKED the husband thought for a minute, and then responded....NO...for 3 reasons.
Reason 1...you don't need anymore shoes...you have a closet full now.
Reason 2...You should start wearing Panties when you shop for shoes.
Reason 3...i am not messing with anyone, who can eat THAT MUCH ice cream.

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

a teatcher standing for the classroom, he wants to be nice to the kids and asks, the one off you who can tell me, how many candies i have in my pocket may have them all three.

a man comes in a shoestore and says to the sellsman, i want the brown ones in the window, size 11, the sallsman looks at the mans feet and says but sir your feet are so much bigger you could use a 12.5, no no give me an 11, so it will be. The next day the man walks along the store all strumbling and a painfull face, and the next day again, the shoeseller cant see this anymore and when he sees the man he calls him inside, Sir please take the bigger shoes, why would you be in so much pain? The man says, : listen, a week ago my wife left me for a younger man, my car broke down, i lost my job, so i have a painfull live, bUT when i come home and take out my shoes i feel great again